Impendulo emfutshane
Buza ukuba umntu ufuna kubizwe njani, ngubani afuna abandakanywe kwaye yintoni afuna kwabelwane ngayo. Hlonipha amaqabane nosapho olukhethiweyo, khusela imfihlo, kwaye buza ababoneleli ngononophelo ngendlela imigaqo-nkqubo yabo esebenza ngayo kubomi bemihla ngemihla.
- Buza ngegama lomntu, izimelabizo, ubudlelwane neemfuno zakhe zemfihlo; ungacingeli.
- Vumela umntu akhethe ukuba angabelana na ngolwazi lobuqu, nini kwaye nabani.
- Buza ukuba ngubani umntu ambona njengosapho nokuba ngubani onokufumana uhlaziyo okanye atyelele.
- Jonga indlela ababoneleli ngononophelo abalubhala ngayo ukhetho, abakhusela ngayo imfihlo nendlela abaphendula ngayo kwiinkxalabo.
- Isazisi sibalulekile, kodwa siyinxalenye enye yobomi nokhathalelo lomntu.
Kweli phepha (amacandelo ayi-4)
Isazisi somntu we-LGBTQ+ siyinxalenye enye yokuba ungubani. Buza ukuba yintoni ebalulekileyo kuye, sebenzisa amagama awakhethayo, kwaye umvumele agqibe ukuba ngubani onokwazi iinkcukacha zobuqu. Ungacingeli isazisi somntu, iqabane lakhe, inkxaso yosapho okanye iminqweno yakhe yemfihlo ngenxa yenkangeleko, iirekhodi ezindala okanye abantu abatyelelayo.
Isikhokelo se-Alzheimer’s Society sokuxhasa umntu we-LGBTQ+ ophila nesifo sokulibala siyacebisa ukuba kubuzwe ngeminqweno yomntu kwaye kuphetshwe ukucingela ngobudlelwane. Izixhobo ze-Alzheimer’s Association zabantu be-LGBTQ+ abaphila nesifo sokulibala nazo zichaza iinkxalabo malunga nokucalulwa nokufumana ukhathalelo olwamkelayo. Abantu bahlukene; sebenzisa ezi ngcinga njengezikhokelo zencoko, hayi njengoluhlu oluchaza umntu.
Ndingabuza njani ngegama, izimelabizo nemfihlo?
Khetha ixesha labucala nelingaxhamli. Ungabuza uthi, “Leliphi igama nezimelabizo ongathanda sizisebenzise?” okanye “Ingaba kukho into malunga nesazisi sakho okanye ubudlelwane bakho ofuna abantu abakuxhasayo bayazi?” Umntu unokuphendula inxalenye, athi hayi, okanye abuyele kulo mba kamva. Akuyomfuneko ukuba ubuze imibuzo yobuqu engahambelani nokhathalelo lwakhe.
Buza ukuba ngubani onokwazi ntoni. Umntu unokufuna iqabane lakhe lamkelwe ngabasebenzi kodwa angafuni usapho lwakhe olubanzi luxelelwe ngendlela azibona ngayo ngokwesini okanye ngesazisi sakhe sesini. Umntu unokukhetha namagama ahlukeneyo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Musa ukwabelana ngeenkcukacha zesazisi nezizalwane, abatyeleli okanye abasebenzi kuba nje usazi.
Ukuba umntu ufuna ukhetho lubhalwe phantsi, buza ukuba kubhalwe ntoni nokuba ngubani oma alubone. Jonga indlela umboneleli aphatha ngayo igama elahlukileyo kwezinye iirekhodi, kuquka nokuba abasebenzi banokusebenzisa igama elikhethwa ngumntu xa bethetha naye. Gcina imfihlo yomntu engqondweni; ayinguye wonke umntu onceda kukhathalelo ofuna zonke iinkcukacha.
Ukhetho lunokutshintsha. Phinda ubuze xa umntu enokukwazi ukuvakalisa ukhetho lwakhe, ingakumbi phambi kokufuduka okanye ulungiselelo olutsha lokhathalelo. Ukuba akuqondakali ukuba ufuna kwabelwane ngantoni, ungacingeli. Landela naluphi na ukhetho olucacileyo awakhe walunika kwaye ucele uncedo kwingcali efanelekileyo yasekuhlaleni ngemibuzo malunga negunya lokhathalelo okanye imigaqo yokwabelana ngolwazi.
Ngubani oma abandakanywe kwiincoko zokhathalelo?
Buza umntu ukuba ngubani amthembayo nafuna ambandakanye. Inethiwekhi yakhe yenkxaso inokuquka iqabane lomtshato, iqabane, umhlobo osondeleyo, isizalwane okanye “usapho olukhethiweyo”—abantu abamxhasa njengosapho nangona bengazalani. Abanye abantu baxhomekeke kusapho abakhulele kulo; abanye abaxhomekeki kulo. Vumela umntu achaze ubudlelwane bakhe ngamazwi akhe.
Buza imibuzo esebenzayo: Ngubani onokutyelela? Ngubani oma abizwe ngabasebenzi xa izicwangciso zitshintsha? Ngubani onokufumana uhlaziyo? Ukuba umboneleli ufuna imvume okanye amaphepha phambi kokwabelana ngolwazi, buza ukuba ufuna ntoni kwaye ucacisele umntu iindlela ezikhoyo. Ukuba liqabane okanye umntu oxhasa umntu omkhathalelayo akwenzi ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba abe negunya elisemthethweni lokwenza izigqibo; imigaqo iyahluka ngokwendawo.
Sebenzisa igama lobudlelwane elikhethwa ngumntu. Umsebenzi wokhathalelo obiza iqabane ngokuthi “umhlobo” okanye “isizalwane” xa umntu efuna laziwa njengeqabane lakhe unokubangela usizi. Inqaku elifutshane elisekelwe kwimvume linokuxelela abasebenzi indlela yokwazisa abantu nokuba zeziphi iinkcukacha ezinokwabelwana ngazo.
Yintoni endingayibuza umboneleli ngononophelo?
Xa uthelekisa ukhathalelo lwasekhaya lokuhlala, inkxaso yasekhaya okanye iinkonzo zemini yabantu abadala, buza umntu ukuba yeyiphi imibuzo afuna ukuyibuza nokuba uyakufuna na ukuba ubekho. Isikhokelo se-SAGE seenkonzo ezamkelayo siphawula ukuba ukwabelana ngolwazi lobuqu nomboneleli kunokuziva kubeka umntu esichengeni. Cela umboneleli acacise iindlela zakhe zangoku ngamagama alula.
- Nilubhala njani igama elikhethwayo nezimelabizo? Ngabaphi abasebenzi abanokubona olo lwazi?
- Umntu unokukhetha njani ukuba ngubani otyelelayo kwaye abe nexesha labucala neqabane okanye omnye umntu omxhasayo?
- Nizifunda njani kwaye nizihlonipha njani iimfuno zomntu malunga negumbi, impahla nokhathalelo lobuqu?
- Loluphi uqeqesho olufunyanwa ngabasebenzi malunga nabantu abadala be-LGBTQ+ abaphila nesifo sokulibala?
- Umhlali okanye umntu omxhasayo unokuyiphakamisa njani inkxalabo malunga nemfihlo okanye ukungahlonitshwa, kwaye kwenzeka ntoni emva koko?
Isikhokelo se-SAGE ne-Human Rights Campaign Foundation sokhathalelo lwexesha elide olubandakanyayo sicebisa ukuba kujongwe imigaqo-nkqubo ebhaliweyo malunga nokutyelela, ukwabiwa kwamagumbi nendlela abasebenzi abasebenza ngayo. Sapapashwa ngo-2021; sisebenzise kwimibuzo onokuyibuza, hayi njengengxelo yomthetho wangoku wasekuhlaleni. Imigaqo-nkqubo neenkonzo ziyahluka ngokwendawo.
Uphawu, incwadana okanye impendulo enye eqinisekisayo ayinakuthembisa indlela ukhathalelo lwemihla ngemihla oluya kuvakala ngayo. Ukuba umntu ufuna ukutyelela, qaphela indlela abasebenzi abathetha naye ngayo nendlela abaphendula ngayo kwiqabane lakhe okanye kubantu abakhethiweyo abamxhasayo. Cela ukuthetha bucala nomsebenzi ukuba oko kungamnceda umntu azive ekhuselekile.
Ndingamxhasa njani umntu epheleleyo?
Buza ngemidla yemihla ngemihla yomntu, iindlela zakhe, ulwimi, inkcubeko, ukholo, abahlobo noluntu lwakhe. Isazisi sakhe sinokubaluleka ukuxoxwa ngaso, okanye angakhetha ukuchitha ixesha kwezinye iinxalenye zobomi. Musa ukuguqula lonke utyelelo lube yincoko ngesazisi okanye ucinge ukuba bonke abantu be-LGBTQ+ baye baba namava afanayo.
Abanye abantu baye bajamelana nokwaliwa okanye ukucalulwa kwaye banokuziva belumkile ngeenkonzo. Abanye abanakukubona oku njengenkxalabo. Mamela ngaphandle kokucela umntu ukuba acacise okanye angqine nantoni na. Ukuba inkumbulo, ifoto okanye ibali langaphambili liyamkhathaza, buza ukuba uyafuna na ukuyeka okanye ukutshintsha isihloko.
Ukuba uliqabane, umhlobo okanye ilungu losapho, nenkxaso yakho ibalulekile. Buza umntu ukuba ufuna ukubandakanyeka njani, kwaye ukhangele umbutho wasekuhlaleni wesifo sokulibala okanye wokwaluphala kwabantu be-LGBTQ+ ukuba ufuna iingcebiso. Iphepha lezixhobo ze-Alzheimer’s Association linamakhonkco kwizixhobo zoluntu nezabakhathaleli; okukhoyo kuxhomekeke kwindawo ohlala kuyo.
Ukuze ufumane uluhlu olubanzi xa uthelekisa amakhaya okhathalelo, jonga ukukhetha ukhathalelo lokuhlala lwesifo sokulibala. Ukuze ufumane uncedo lokucwangcisa emva kokuxilongwa, jonga amanyathelo okuqala emva kokuxilongwa kwesifo sokulibala.
Imibuzo eqhelekileyo
Ngaba ndifanele ndixelele abasebenzi ngononophelo ukuba umntu ungumntu we-LGBTQ+?
Buza umntu ukuba ufuna abasebenzi bazi ntoni nokuba ngubani onokukwazi oko. Yabelana kuphela ngoko avumayo ukwabelana ngako xa kunokwenzeka, kwaye buza umboneleli ngendlela olu lwazi oluza kubhalwa ngayo nokuba ngubani onokulubona.
Ngubani oma abandakanywe kwiincoko zokhathalelo?
Buza umntu ukuba ngubani amthembayo nafuna ambandakanye. Oku kunokuba liqabane, umhlobo, isizalwane okanye usapho olukhethiweyo; ungacingeli ukuba isizalwane segazi sesona sinxibelelwano asithandayo.
Yintoni endifanele ndiyibuze kwikhaya lokhathalelo malunga nokubandakanywa kwabantu be-LGBTQ+?
Buza ngamagama nezimelabizo kwiirekhodi, abatyeleli nexesha labucala, ukhetho lwegumbi nolokhathalelo lobuqu, uqeqesho lwabasebenzi, nendlela iinkxalabo ezisingathwa ngayo. Cela imigaqo-nkqubo ebhaliweyo yangoku xa ibalulekile.
Kuthekani ukuba umntu uyatshintsha koko afuna ukwabelana ngako?
Ukhetho lunokwahluka ngokomntu, indawo nexesha. Phinda ubuze kumntu xa kunokwenzeka, kwaye ungachazi ulwazi olusekelwe kwincoko yangaphambili ukuba ngoku ucela ukuba ulugcine luyimfihlo.
Imithombo
Sinika amakhonkco emibutho nophononongo eli phepha elixhomekeke kulo. Inye nganye yatshekishwa xa iphepha lalihlaziywa.
- Supporting an LGBTQ+ person with dementia · Alzheimer's Society
- LGBTQ+ Community Dementia Resources · Alzheimer's Association
- 10 Tips for Finding LGBT-Affirming Services · SAGE
- Finding an LGBTQ+ Inclusive Long-Term Care Community · SAGE and Human Rights Campaign Foundation