Reminiscence Questions for People with Dementia, Open and Never a Quiz

Reminiscence is the practice of talking together about the past: childhood homes, first jobs, favorite foods, songs, weddings and holidays. For many people with dementia, a warm conversation about their own life is one of the most enjoyable parts of the day. The key is to ask in a way that invites a story and never tests a memory. These questions are grouped by theme, with tips on how to use them.

Rules for reminiscence questions

• Ask open questions. “Tell me about…” and “What was it like…” invite a story. “Do you remember…?” asks for a right answer.
• Never quiz. Avoid “Who is this?”, “What year was that?” and “Do you recall the name of…?”
• Accept whatever comes back. If the story changes or places get mixed up, enjoy it and ask about the feelings.
• Use one question at a time. Wait, listen and follow up with something simple.
• Let the person lead. If they want to talk about something else, go with them.

The National Institute on Aging’s guidance on communicating recommends short sentences, a calm voice, and patience while the person finds their words. These rules matter as much here as anywhere.

Home and childhood

• Tell me about the house you grew up in. What was the kitchen like?
• What did you like to do outside when you were little?
• Who were the people you played with on your street?
• What was your bedroom like? Did you share it with anyone?

Work and getting things done

• What kind of work did you enjoy most?
• Tell me about a day at work that made you proud.
• What did you like to make or fix with your hands?
• Who taught you the most about your work?

Food and cooking

• What did your family eat on a Sunday?
• Tell me about a dish someone in your family made especially well.
• Did you have a favorite place to get a treat when you were young?
• What smells remind you of home?

Food talk pairs nicely with the sensory activities guide, and with a small taste if it is safe to offer one.

Music and dancing

• What songs did you sing or dance to when you were young?
• Who was your favorite singer or band?
• Where did you hear music in those days: at home, at dances, at church?

For playlists and music ideas, see music activities for people with dementia.

Holidays and celebrations

• What was your favorite holiday growing up?
• Tell me about a birthday party you remember.
• What did the family do on a summer evening?
• How did your family celebrate the seasons?

For ideas that suit a particular holiday, see holiday activities for someone with dementia.

Family and friends

• Tell me about the person who made you laugh the most.
• What was your wedding day like?
• Tell me about your children when they were small.
• What did your friends call you?

Ask family questions gently. If the person is grieving someone, follow their lead and avoid asking them to recall details they may find painful.

Places and nature

• Tell me about a place you love to think about.
• What was the weather like where you grew up?
• Did you have a garden, or a favorite tree?
• Tell me about a trip you enjoyed.

Using photos and objects

Pictures are a natural starting point. Hold a photo at eye level and say, “Tell me about this.” The Alzheimer’s Association’s guidance on activities suggests using familiar objects, photos and music to start conversation. A memory box with a few objects from the person’s life can work well too; see reminiscence activities for how to put one together.

When the memory is painful

Some memories bring up sadness, fear or anger. If the person becomes upset, do not push. Say something warm like, “That sounds like it was a hard time. Would you like to talk about something happier?” Then change the subject, offer a cup of tea, or put on a favorite song.

Pair with a game or a walk

After a reminiscence session, a gentle game can keep the mood light. Try conversation cards for more open prompts, or finish the saying for familiar phrases from the person’s childhood. For communication tips more broadly, see communication tips for someone with dementia.