How to Play Games with Someone Who Has Dementia

A good game with someone living with dementia does not look like a contest. It looks like two people sitting close, pointing at pictures, laughing at a saying, and talking about whatever comes up. The game is just a reason to spend time together.

This guide covers how to set up, how to pace a game, what to say when something goes “wrong”, how to make any game easier or a little harder, how to turn it into conversation, and how to know when to stop. It works for our games and for cards, puzzles and board games you already have.

What is the best way to play a game with someone who has dementia?

Focus on enjoyment, not achievement. That is the core advice from the Alzheimer’s Association guidance on activities: build on skills the person still has, help them get started, finish the hard parts yourself, and do not criticize or correct harmless activities.

In practice that means:

• Sit beside them, not across. Side by side, you can both see the screen or table, and helping feels like teamwork rather than supervision.
• Offer one game at a time. A menu of choices can feel like a test before anything starts.
• Follow their lead. If they want to tap the pictures in their own order, talk about one picture for ten minutes, or stop after two turns, that is the game today.
• Count the good moments, not the finished rounds. A smile, a story or a calm half hour is the outcome you are looking for.

How do I set up before we start?

A few minutes of setup prevents most of the frustration that people blame on the game itself.

1. Pick their best time of day. The National Institute on Aging (NIA) guidance on adapting activities suggests planning outings and activities for the time of day when the person is at their best. For many people that is mid-morning. Late afternoon is often harder; see calm late-afternoon activities.
2. Make the room quiet. Turn off the TV and radio and close the door if you can. The Family Caregiver Alliance recommends limiting noise and distractions before you try to talk.
3. Check comfort first. A drink nearby, a bathroom trip beforehand, a comfortable chair, and glasses and hearing aids on.
4. Light the space well. Bright, even light without glare on the screen makes pictures easier to see.
5. Get the game ready before you sit down. Open it, choose the settings and set the volume yourself. Then turn the screen toward them. For tablet tips, see setting up a tablet or phone.
6. Prop the device up. A stand or case that holds the tablet upright means nobody has to hold it, and it is easier to point.

How do I invite them without pressure?

Make the invitation casual and easy to decline. Some phrases that tend to land well:

• “I found some garden pictures. Want to look at them with me?”
• “Could you help me with this puzzle? I’m stuck.”
• “Would you like the flowers or the birds today?” (a choice of two is easier than an open question)
• “I’m making a card for your sister. Which color should this be?”

The Alzheimer’s Association suggests explaining the purpose of an activity, such as making a card for a friend, because a reason gives it meaning. Asking for help also works because it lets the person feel useful.

If they say no, accept it. Try again later or offer something different. Our guide on what to do when they say no goes further.

How long should a game last, and how fast should we go?

Let the person set the pace, and plan for short sessions. There is no evidence-based ideal length for a shared game. Two to five calm minutes can be a complete activity.

• Wait longer than feels natural. The NIA advises allowing more time for a person to respond and trying not to interrupt. Count to ten in your head before you help.
• One step at a time. Give a single, short instruction (“Tap a picture”), then wait. Show rather than explain: point to where to tap.
• Pause freely. If they stop to talk about a picture, the game can wait. There is no need to rush.
• Let them watch. The NIA notes that some people prefer to watch, and that is a valid choice.

Should I correct wrong answers?

No. Gently correcting someone again and again tells them they are failing, even when you mean well. The Alzheimer’s Association advises not to criticize or correct harmless activities. In a game, almost every mistake is harmless.

If a mistake clearly frustrates them, help quietly. Point to the right picture, take a turn yourself, or make the game easier next round. If a saying gets a funny wrong ending, laugh along. Their ending might be better.

How do I make a game easier or harder?

Adjust the game to the person on the day, not to a stage label. The same person may need a simpler version in the evening than in the morning. The NIA’s first tip is to match the activity to what the person can do and to make sure they feel successful.

Signs the game is too hard: long pauses that look worried rather than thoughtful, repeated “I can’t”, pushing the device away, or mistakes that upset them. Signs it might be too easy: boredom, or them saying it is childish. If that happens, respect it and switch to something that feels grown-up, such as a word search, a puzzle of a real photograph, or talking about a picture of their old line of work.

How do I turn a game into a conversation?

Use each picture as an invitation to talk, and treat whatever they say as a good answer. For many families, this is the best part of playing.

• Ask open, no-wrong-answer questions. “What do you notice?” “Which one do you like?” “Tell me about a kitchen like this.”
• Share first. “My grandmother had a dog like this.” Your story makes it easier for them to share one.
• Follow the tangent. If a picture of a car leads to a story about a road trip, the story is the activity. Leave the game paused.
• Do not fact-check. In reminiscence, a pleasant conversation matters more than accurate details. If the story changes from last time, enjoy the new version.
• Use the built-in prompts. Finish the Saying follows each saying with a talking prompt, and Conversation Cards are designed for exactly this. Photo Pairs uses your own family photos, which often spark the richest stories.

More ideas are in our guides to reminiscence activities and communication tips.

When should we stop?

Stop at the first signs of tiredness or upset, and ideally a little before. The Alzheimer’s Association advises stopping or changing an activity when attention fades or frustration rises.

Watch for:

• yawning, slumping or eyes drifting away from the screen;
• fidgeting, standing up, or asking to leave;
• sighing, short answers, or “I’m no good at this”;
• tapping randomly or pushing the device away;
• tearfulness, irritation, or a sudden change in mood.

How to stop well:

• End on something easy. One last match they can make, or a final picture to admire.
• Make it about you. “I could use a cup of tea. Shall we stop here?” avoids any hint that they did badly.
• Move to something physical or soothing. A short walk, a snack, folding laundry or music.
• Say something warm. “I liked doing that with you.” No praise for “getting it right”, just pleasure in the time together.

Ending early, changing plans, or giving up on the game and just sitting together are all good outcomes.

Can we play in a group or over a video call?

Yes, with a little extra setup. In a group, keep it to a few people, seat helpers next to anyone who needs them, and choose a game with a clear shared focus. Picture Bingo has printable cards and an on-screen caller for groups. See activities for care home groups for more.

Over a video call, the person on the call can describe a picture while someone in the room points and taps. Keep calls short and familiar. Our guide to phone and video calls has more tips.

What if a game just isn’t working?

Some days nothing lands, and that is not a reflection on you or on them. Put the game away and try another time of day, a different game, or no game at all. Many good activities have nothing to do with screens: music, folding towels, looking through a photo album, or a short walk. Browse our activity ideas for more.