Holiday Activities for Someone with Dementia, from Thanksgiving On

Holidays can bring back warm memories, and they can also bring noise, crowds and changes to the usual day. For someone living with dementia, the best celebrations are usually smaller, slower and built around things they can still enjoy. These ideas work for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year and family birthdays alike.

How do I plan a calmer holiday?

Start with the person’s routine and plan the day around it. The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America suggests holding the celebration earlier in the day, because confusion and restlessness often grow in the late afternoon and evening (sometimes called sundowning). A holiday lunch or brunch can be easier than a late dinner.

• Keep it the right size. A smaller, more casual gathering, or guests arriving a few at a time, is often easier than one crowded table.
• Hand out jobs. Ask relatives to bring a dish, do the shopping or spend time with the person while you cook. Be specific about what would help.
• Keep decorations simple. The Alzheimer’s Association notes that blinking lights can be confusing, and that candy or artificial fruit used as decoration may be mistaken for food.
• Decide what to drop. If a tradition has become stressful or risky, it is fine to skip it or try a quieter one.

What holiday activities can we do together?

Choose jobs and pastimes that fit what the person can do today. Being part of the day matters more than how it turns out.

1. Set the table together. Lay out plates first, then napkins, then cups. Folding napkins is a good job to sit down for.
2. Wash and sort vegetables. Rinsing potatoes or snapping green beans at the kitchen table is safe and familiar for many people who used to cook.
3. Stir, mix or plate. Stirring cranberry sauce, mixing a simple batter or putting cookies on a plate keeps hands busy away from the stove and knives.
4. Wrap a gift. Pre-cut the paper and tape, and let the person fold and smooth. Neat wrapping is not the point.
5. Hang a few decorations. Choose unbreakable ornaments and one small area, such as a wreath or a small tree.
6. Make a simple craft. Paper chains, a leaf collage or a holiday card with stamps work well. Our arts and crafts guide has more ideas.
7. Sing and listen. Familiar carols and holiday songs are easy to join, even for someone who talks less now. See our music guide for building a playlist.
8. Look at old holiday photos. Bring out albums from past celebrations and invite stories (“Tell me about this table”) rather than asking who is who. Our reminiscence guide explains how.
9. Play a gentle group game. Picture bingo prints in minutes and works for all ages, and conversation cards give everyone something to talk about.
10. Color together. Simple coloring pages can be printed for children and grandparents to share at the table.
11. Watch a favorite holiday movie. A familiar film is restful, and it is fine to watch only part of it.
12. Take a short drive to see lights. A quiet drive past decorated houses can be easier than a crowded event.

If cooking was a big part of the person’s life, our guide to household tasks as activities has more ways to make kitchen jobs safe and satisfying.

How do I prepare guests?

Tell guests what to expect before they arrive, especially relatives who have not visited in a while. The Alzheimer’s Association suggests explaining that changes in memory and behavior come from the disease, not the person.

• Share a few simple tips: speak one at a time, give time to finish a thought, do not correct or quiz, and respond to the person’s tone if words are hard to follow.
• Say what helps and what upsets. If loud voices, being rushed or certain topics cause distress, say so.
• Introduce guests ahead of time. Show the person photos of who is coming and share a story or two, or set up a short phone or video chat before the day.

Our communication tips go into more detail.

What if it gets to be too much?

Set up a quiet room before guests arrive, away from the noise, with familiar comfort items such as a favorite blanket, sweater or a simple activity. Offer it early and often: “Shall we sit somewhere quieter for a bit?”

Leaving the table, going to bed early or skipping part of the day is a good outcome, not a failure. If the person becomes upset, a calm voice, a familiar song or a walk to another room often helps more than reasoning. Our guide to late-day restlessness has more ideas for evenings.

How can family far away take part?

Video calls let relatives join without adding to the crowd. The Alzheimer’s Association suggests giving calls some structure, for example singing seasonal songs, sharing pictures from past gatherings, cooking the same recipe together or watching a holiday movie at the same time. Keep calls short, and ask people to speak one at a time, since crosstalk is hard to follow. Our phone and video call guide has step-by-step ideas.

If the person lives in memory care, check the visiting policy and ask staff to help set up a call. Our guide to visiting someone in memory care covers what to bring and how to leave well.

What gifts suit someone with dementia?

Simple, safe gifts they can enjoy now tend to work best: a favorite snack, a soft blanket or cardigan, familiar music, a large-print calendar, or an album of family photos. The Alzheimer’s Association advises avoiding dangerous tools, complicated electronics and challenging board games.

Giving can matter as much as receiving. Packing cookies the person helped bake, or having them wrap a gift you bought, lets them take part in the season. A family photo game is another idea: photo pairs turns a few chosen photos into a gentle matching game in the browser.

Look after yourself too

Holidays add work to caregiving. Let someone else host or cook the turkey, say no to events that will be hard, and take breaks while others spend time with the person. If you or the person you care for is unwell, a wave from the driveway or a video call is a perfectly good visit. Our guide to caregiver self-care has more support.