Phone and Video Call Activities for Someone with Dementia

Living far away from someone with dementia can feel helpless. Phone and video calls will not replace a hug, but they can still bring real moments of connection when you set them up well. The trick is to stop trying to have a normal catch-up conversation and plan something simple to share instead. This page covers activities that work over video and phone, how to set up the call, and what the person on site can do to help.

Why plan an activity for a call?

An activity gives the call shape. “How are you? What did you do today?” asks the person to remember and report, which can be hard and stressful. “Look, the tomatoes are ripe” asks nothing of them at all.

The Alzheimer’s Association notes that conversations with larger groups over video can be difficult, and suggests adding structure to the call with things like singing songs or sharing pictures.

What activities work on a video call?

Show and tell

Bring your world to them. Walk the camera slowly around your garden, introduce the dog, show what you are cooking, hold up a grandchild’s drawing, or point the phone out the window at the snow. Describe what you see in simple words and leave pauses for them to react. No questions needed.

Look at photos together

Hold an old print up to the camera, or share your screen to show a few large photos one at a time. Talk about what you notice: “Look at Grandpa’s hat.” Avoid “Who is this?” or “Do you remember?” If the person names someone wrongly, go along with it. See our reminiscence guide for gentle prompts.

Read aloud

Read a short poem, a psalm, a favorite children’s book to a grandchild on the same call, a letter from a relative, or a page from a book they loved. Reading aloud gives the person something calm to listen to without needing to reply.

Sing or listen to music together

Sing a song they know well, or play a favorite record on your end. Singing along is easier than talking for many people. See our music activities guide.

Cook or bake at the same time

The Alzheimer’s Association suggests planning a video call to cook or bake a special recipe together. Set up the call in both kitchens. The person on site might stir or taste while you follow their old recipe card.

Watch something together

The Association also suggests watching a favorite movie at the same time from separate homes while talking by phone or video. For someone with dementia, a short clip, an old TV episode or a ball game may work better than a full film.

Play a gentle game on a shared screen

Many video call apps let you share your screen. You open the game and tap; the person tells you or points to which picture to choose. Or the helper on site opens the same game on a tablet and taps for them while you chat.

Games that work well this way:

• Finish the Saying: you read the familiar saying, they say the ending, and a talking prompt follows.
• Picture Pairs: a gentle matching game with large pictures that can stay visible, no timer and no score.
• Conversation Cards: a picture and an open prompt to talk about together.
• Photo Pairs: a matching game made from photos you choose on your own device. The photos stay in your browser, and the person sees them through your shared screen.

Recorded messages

When live calls are hard, record a short video: a greeting, a song, a walk around your yard. The helper can play it at a calm moment, as many times as the person enjoys. The Alzheimer’s Association mentions recording and sending special moments, like children opening gifts.

What about plain phone calls?

Phone calls still matter. Dementia Australia suggests calling at the same time each day and not rushing, since people with dementia may take time to engage. On the phone:

• Say your name and relationship right away: “Hi Dad, it’s Jenny, your daughter.”
• Speak slowly, in short sentences, one idea at a time.
• Give news rather than asking for it: “I made your pot roast recipe last night.”
• Read a short poem, or sing a verse of a favorite song.
• Keep it short and end on a warm note.

Dementia Australia also notes that video calls can help when talking becomes harder, since the person can see your face. If phone calls get confusing, try video, or the other way around.

How do I set up a video call that works?

Before the call:

1. Pick a regular time when the person is usually rested, and stick to it. Routine helps.
2. Coordinate with the helper on site. A text the day before helps them plan.
3. Check the device. A tablet on a stand is easier than a phone held in a hand. Make sure it is charged, the screen is bright, and the sound is loud enough. Turn on captions if the app offers them and the person reads well.
4. Plan one activity and have everything ready.

During the call:

• Sit close to the camera in good light, facing a window rather than with it behind you.
• Introduce yourself every time, by name and relationship.
• One voice at a time. The Alzheimer’s Association notes that cross talk is hard for people living with dementia and people with hearing loss. If several relatives join, take turns or keep it to two or three people.
• Ask one question at a time. The Family Caregiver Alliance suggests simple questions with yes-or-no answers, and showing choices when you can.
• Allow long pauses. Wait for a reply. It is fine to suggest a word if they are searching.
• Use your face and voice. Smile, nod and keep your tone warm. Expression often says more than words.
• Do not correct. If the person says something that is not accurate, let it be.

Ending the call:

• End before the person gets tired, ideally on a high note.
• Use the same goodbye each time: “I’ll call you tomorrow at lunch. I love you.”
• Do not drag it out.

Tips for the helper on site

If you are the spouse, aide, sibling or staff member helping with the call, you make it possible.

• Set up a quiet spot. Turn off the TV and close the door.
• Start the call yourself, then hand the person a tablet on a stand or hold it at eye level.
• Sit beside them, not in front. Your presence is reassuring. Gently prompt if needed: “Look, it’s Jenny.”
• Be the hands. Hold up photos, tap the game, turn the tablet to show the room.
• Watch for tiredness or upset, and let the caller know when it is time to wrap up.
• Tell the caller what worked. “She loved the dog” helps plan the next call.

The NIA suggests long-distance relatives can help an older person learn their phone’s features, such as video calls. In later stages, the helper will usually need to handle the device entirely. That is fine.

If the person lives in a care home, the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America suggests asking whether the facility helps families with video chats. The AFA also mentions families sending photos back and forth with care staff, and sending favorite snacks or small comforts, after checking what the facility allows.

What if the call doesn’t go well?

Some calls will be confusing, flat or upsetting. That is not your fault, and it does not mean calls are not worth it.

• If the person seems puzzled by the screen, switch to a phone call or a recorded message.
• If they become upset, acknowledge the feeling, say something reassuring, and end gently.
• If calls often go badly at one time of day, try another time.
• If they think you are someone else, go along with it kindly.

It is fine to end early. A short, warm call is a good outcome.

Between calls

Stay present in other ways. Dementia Australia suggests sending cards, emails, photos or small gifts. A weekly postcard with one large photo and a short note can be read again and again. Printable conversation cards mailed to the helper can give the next call a ready-made topic.

For tips on choosing and setting up a tablet, see tablets and screens. For in-person time, see our guide to visiting.